Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Here's to weed.

I used to see them all the time and think they were informative. I thought the individuals behind them wanted nothing but the best for the people who watched them. But then I grew up, got wise to the world a bit, smoked some weed, and came to my senses. And in my expert opinion, these anti-marijuana TV commercials are bogus, meant only to scare people away from the stickiest of the icky.

The commercials aren't completely bogus, but I hate how the they insinuate that every negative consequence known to man will plague you if you put blunt to mouth just once. People who do nothing but smoke weed--the people who wake up and instead of brushing their teeth, smoke some weed--might lose some friends, their job, their chance at getting another job, contact with their family members, their possessions, their state of awareness, and a bit of self-respect and dignity. But what about the people who smoke casually? What about the people like me (well, me prior to late 2007 and me after I get another job) who smoke weed once or twice a week, if that much. I can't speak for everyone who smokes pot so rarely, but I've never had any of that shit happen to me. I just got real hungry and ate the shit out of a Whataburger.


I applaud the anti-weed people for trying to keep America's youth drug-free, but if you are going to take up multiple thirty-second intervals of my life, don't only point out the negatives. Just like Tim Meadows said in "Walk Hard," weed won't give you a hangover, it's non-addictive to the vast majority of people who have tried it, and IT IS THE CHEAPEST DRUG YOU CAN TRY! (Where else can you and four friends have such a time by spending $5.50 each, five dollars for the grass and fifty cents each for a cigar?) Not to mention, if you get high on weed and watch "Lean on Me," "Harlem Nights," "From Dusk till Dawn," or "What's Love Got to do With It" with your friends, you will have stories to share for years.

I completely support people's decision to or not to smoke marijuana; I just don't support bumming the hell out of me when I'm trying to watch "Scrubs" by showing me some random "Chica," who speaks one Spanish word per English sentence and had her naked picture takes because she was high on weed. That's not what happens on a weed high. Getting naked and taking pictures is what you do when you are drunk. I know from experience.

Get this fake ass Maya Angelou and her poetry about a guy getting high and sitting on his stoop off my screen. Why is she spending all her time writing about him and what he does on his own property. Stalker, anyone.

If I want to smoke some pot, I will. And if I want to smoke fools like you on the tennis court, damn it, I will.

Light it up (if you so choose),
B.rand