Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Remember "Summer School"

It was 1987. Colors were bright. Kirstie Alley was under 150 lbs. And movies about the not so real high school experience were hot. But most, if not all, 80s high school movies took place during the school year. But what happened when June rolled around and the school year ended? Did they shut down production of high school movies during those beautiful summer months? NO! Why not have a movie that delt with the happenings of summer school classes? And while we're at it, let's name it "Summer School."

Summer School is a highly over-looked 80s comedy about high school slackers who completely bomb a language skills standardized test and are forced to take remedial English during summer school in hopes of passing the test on the next try. Carefree P.E. teacher Freddy Shoop (Mark Harmon) gets suckered by the bag of douche vice principal into teaching said class. Shoops has a school boy crush on the not-so-single history teacher (Alley), who happens to be dating the aforementioned bag of douche. And hilarity ensues.

Loads of 80s high school cliches can be found here. All the 16, 17, and 18 year olds were actually played by actors in their 20s. Although the class consists of about 20 students, only 10 of them speak and do important things. Bright and pastel colors are everywhere. There is a wise-cracking black person. And there are enough obscure 80s songs to half-way fill your "80s Monster Jams" playlist on your iPod.

Summer School is a run-of-the-mill 80s comedy about 26-year-old high school students and the slightly older slacker teacher who knows he's way too good looking to be doing anything as trivial as teaching remedial English. But the movie makes up for its mediocrity by having an extremely funny cast of actors playing the students. They aren't big-name stars, but they were hilarious in their various roles, rather the role be an underaged male stripper, a dislexic PYT who can't drive, a geek who surprising doesn't make As, or two guys who love the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre very very very very very very very very very very very much.

So if you are stuck inside on a rainy day and Summer School happens to come on TBS, or if you find it for $5 in a grocery store like I did, watch this movie. I can't recommend it highly enough. People fall in love, dumb students improve, and you get your chuckls all the while. Oh, and see if you can spot actress who played Austin Powers' love interest, Alotta Fagina, ten years later.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Great DJ

My taste in music is different to say the least. Quite a few of my friends know I am currently involved in a love affair with The Ting Tings. Katie might not be the world's best singer. There might only be two people in their "band." But they make great music to which I cannot stop listening. I haven't been to a concert since I went to see Bobby Brown, Mary J, and TLC in 1993 (I fell asleep shortly after TLC performed), so live music was definitely in my plans this year. So when I saw on their MySpace page that they would be playing in Tallahassee March 31, my mind was already made up.

March 31 was Tuesday, and since the other two closers in my department have school on Tuesdays, I had work until 9 p.m. Club Downunder, where the Tings were to perform, opened its doors at 8:30, the concert started at 9:30, so more than likely, I was going to miss the concert due to work.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

I shut down that deli like I was late on the light bill, moving with quickness normally reserved for olympic runners and convenient store thieves. Although I normally leave work most nights after 9:15 p.m. most nights, I left W/D behind at exactly 8 p.m. Deciding me getting to the club on time was more important than me not smelling faintly like fried chicken, I skipped the shower, put on a button up and my new black shoes (I was very overdressed it seems), and hopped in Alberta.

On my way out of the complex, I saw a naked man running as fast as he could away from the house across the street, almost as though he had no business there. I'm not sure, but i think that naked man was forboding for the events to come. After parking and almost sprinting in the rain with an umb-buh-rella that I'm 87 percent sure is too small, I visually found out I'm not the only Ting Tings fan in the Tallahassee area. The line stretched around three or four corners and had more than about 400 people.

Praying to any god who'd answer, I silently called out for help getting inside. I was told there was only room for 350 people, and things were looking bleak. The line moved and moved, and right before I was to turn the last corner, a skinny, tattooed club worker told us they'd reached compacity although they were trying to fit in as many people as they could without the fire marshal knowing. I got five people away from the door when Skinny Tattoo Magee posted a sign that read "Absolutely No More Entries."

I was hurt, y'all, but since the doors were mostly glass, I stayed and watched my favorite band at the moment perform. I couldn't even properly hear them because Downunder kept the doors closed. But after the line dwindled down to about 30 people, many people left the club, endless pleading and flirting from the hot girls in front of me, and about 45 minutes, the bouncer let us in. All praises be to fat Buhdda, blue Krishna, long-haired white Jesus, and whomever the Hindus worship. I didn't get to hear all wanted to hear, but I damn sure heard "Shut Up and Let Me Go" and "That's Not My Name."

If a video of me at this concert ever makes it to YouTube, my family will be ashamed of me because I was rhythmlessly rocking out with my cock out (figuratively speaking). Below is a link to The Ting Tings performing "That's Not My Name" in Tallahassee. All you have to do is copy and paste it. Thank God I'm not in this video. Well not clearly in it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YKeYfAyZ1Q

B.Rand