I've been eating better for two years and working out for almost as long. As I have gone through this process, I've tried to keep my workout routine varied and ever-expanding. I want to push myself to do things I never thought I would be able to do, things I never thought I would WANT to do and things that would push me out of my comfort zone. Since I have a slightly crippling fear of heights but want to gain some climbing abilities for an up-coming four-mile run and obstacle course, I decided to try my hand at rock wall climbing.
One of my friends -- looking at you, Trent! -- is an avid climber is constantly preaching the glory that is supposed to be climbing. He has been constantly telling me how much of the body it works and how it breaks the monotony of gym workouts. But I can be a pretty vain person at times. As much as I tell myself that other people's opinions don't matter to me, I put way too much emphasis on what I think of me. My appearance, my behavior, my actions and how well those actions are executed. Even when I started my #GetRight plan, It took me a month and a half before I worked up the courage to step into a gym. It took me about five months after that before I would go into the weight room and attempt to work out with the people who looked like the worked out for a living. Those same apprehensions always made me say thing like "that's nice" or "I'll do it one day, I swear" whenever my friend mention the benefits of climbing. But if there's one thing I hate more than looking like a loser doing something in front of a crowd of people who are well-experience at said activity, it's letting fear and apprehensions keep me from doing things.
As soon as I stepped foot into the rock gym -- I do mean as soon as-- I knew that I would not come out of this venture with the highest of self-esteem.I don't lack the strength to climb, but finding the right hand and foot holes and not being afraid of the fall proved more difficult than I expected. I got the privilege of watching more experienced climbers practically sprint to the top of the wall while I had to talk myself into climbing higher than the halfway mark. Starting courses that were supposed to be easy but not being able to climb even a quarter of the way made me thing twince about what I've really accomplished while on my #GetRight plan. I just hope no one saw me frozen for 45 seconds in the middle of the wall, too afraid to climb up, climb down or just let go.
But today's activities weren't horrible. If I had to evaluate my performance, I'd say I did OK. Eventually, I got acclaimated with the wall and was able to climb higher and faster. I got an amazing workout; my arms and thigh are still ringing. Despite the self-deprecation and awkwardness, I want to go again. Like, now! But the climbing brought me back to reality. For the past week, I've been riding euphoria waves after celebrating two years of good living and at least 105 pounds lost. Although I've had some amazing progress, I'm constantly reminded that even after 2 years of living right, I'm still more than 50 pounds overweight. Sure I'm able to run now, but in the time it takes me to run two miles, some of my friends can run 3.1 miles. I enjoy lifting weights, but my bench pressing weight is atrocious for someone who has worked out for almost two years. And when I see 18-month before-and-after weight loss pictures of people who now have rock hard bodies, I have to take a 30-minute time out to tell myself that I started at a much higher weight and that's why I'm not in Randy Love g-string shape.
Guess who won't be deterred, though. Take your time; I'm hourly. This guy!!! I'm going to go back -- with a partner, a group or by my damn self -- and I'm going to do better than I did today. I'm going to eventually climb with ease, find better climbing route, not being afraid of the height, and not worrying about how I am percieved in a room full of experiensed climbers. I want the muscle game, strength and agility climbing will give me, and I want to conquor this run/obstacle course next year. I guess I just had to face my fears and struggles head-on before I could progress. I feel a lot better now.
Until next time,
Brandon D. Oliver
P.S., I had no idea climbing would be so uncomfortable on my bat and balls!
