When it's over

For as long as I can remember, people have always talked, and gossiped, about the recently dead. "She had a long, eventful life." "His kids are going to be left in debt because he didn't pay his bills." "He was old and weak; it was a blessing he went." "I heard she was sleeping with the dude who shot her."

Yeah, I've heard all of that in some shape or form, and it shocked me to hear the negative comments. I used to be a tad naive, thinking people only said nice things about the deceased--you know, out of respect. But, hey, I would be mad at everyone if they didn't say what was on their mind. But at the same time, I often wonder: What will people say/think about me when God strikes me down.

But this is not some vain attempt to keep people from talking bad about me when I'm dead and gone. People will talk regardless. What I'm trying to get at is what my legacy will be. How will I affect people? What will be my life's highlights? And did anyone see my method of death coming a mile away?

There are so many things, some of which I've only told a few people, I want to do with my life. But after recently celebrating my 23rd birthday, i realize my life just might be a quarter of the way finished (maybe more), and I seriously doubt I've made my mark on the world.

• I want to write fiction books, maybe even some movies. Sure it would be cool to act, but come on: a fat black guy, who had never acted, with a bald spot and a limp. Who would I be fooling.
• Sure Florida is nice, but God made about 1.49 trillion other places, and I would really like to see some of these places before I die. The American Plains, Hawaii, Japan, parts of Africa where I won't get brutally murdered, Spain, Australia, Central America. The possibilities are endless.
• I refuse to live life alone, so I would really like to find a common hood rat, wife her up, and raise some kids. I need a girlfriend; applications are coming out soon.
• I want to, and will, lose some weight. My grandparents had/have diabetes. Heart disease is prevalent among black people. And cancer can really beat down a black man's prostate. So why must I help out the Reaper by being fat? I mean, really.

I want to accomplish all of these things, but what I most want to do before I'm dead, cremated, and had my ashes spread over Halle Berry's grave is to just be a great person. I think I'm good at life now, but there is always room for improvement. I could died in 50 years or five minutes from now. I just want to make sure when I'm gone, people will have nice memories of me...like my torrid love affair with Rosario Dawson.