While at work, my roommate texted me, telling me horrible news. Ike Turner died on Wednesday Dec. 12, 2007. Like when everyone dies, I got a bit sad. And buy sad, I mean felt sympathy for his family and loved ones. I wasn't crying or anything. I don't even know the nigga. Just think of all the good Ike Turner has done for the world, especially black people, ages 15-35.
Ike was a pillar of rock and roll. Current popular recording artists credit Ike as an influence in their careers. He won a Grammy in 2007 for his blues album, "Risin' with the Blues." But what we all really know Ike for is an act dating back to prehistoric times: Going upside woman's head. And not just any woman. Tina Turner.
As vividly detailed in "What's Love Got To Do With It," Ike went upside Tina's head from, what had to be, the late 1950s to the late 1970s. There was lip busting, nose breaking, boot hitting, and shallow apologies. But I digress. What we really love most, and what I will miss most, about shrimpy ass Ike Turner is all the crazy fashion statements and catchphrases.
How many of you have Ike to thank for "fi- fi- FINE YO ASS," "damn Anne, you got mo excuses than a nigga going to jail," and "tho..tho..thought a nigga like me would let you go." How many people have had joy brought to their life when they saw Lawrence Fishburn in a purple, one-piece jump suit, a Beatles-inspired wig, and a belt with a hand buckle. Or what about the Indian-inspired outfit complete with the Afro with the feather attached. How many of us got a friend like Frost riding our nuts.
And don't think I forgot about everyone's favorite. "EAT THE CAKE, ANNA MAE. EAT THE G**DAMN CAKE."
Although Ike later (and for real) got off that narcotic, worked to clean up his image due to a one-sided, critically acclaimed movie, and won countless awards, I will always remember him as the coke-addicted, wife beater I grew to love. And while Tina Turner dances in her four-inch stilettos around her Parisian mansion, Friday, Latoya and I will get drunk, watch "What's Love..." and eat cake in honor of Ike. Anyone interested in helping us commemorate his memory can feel free to join me at 1081-2 Solana Ave.
Thanks for listening,
B.rand
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