Happy Two-Year Anniversary to Me!!!

 Imagine a man who couldn’t climb two flights of stairs without being winded. A man who wore long shirts to hide his inevitably appearing butt crack when he sat down. Someone who refused to go shopping with people so he could avoid the envy of being the only person who couldn’t find clothes that fit. That guy was me two years ago before I decided two years ago today to change my less than ideal situation. I had spent the better part of 26 and a half years eating fast and junk food, avoiding physical activity and remaining stuck in my ways. But on November 30, 2010, I took the first steps of quite the eventful, life-changing Journey.

When I embarked on my #GetRight plan, I first decided to give up fast food, vending machine items and sodas. Living in Palatka, Fla., giving up those items is basically like eliminating 80 percent of available food and drink from my diet. I forced myself to cook more, incorporate more fruits and veggies into my diet, and eat five smaller, healthier meals per day as opposed to three huge fattening meals. To keep from getting bored with eating only sandwiches and fruit, I have spent the past two years looking up new and healthy recipes and stepping out of my comfort zone to find more diverse foods that wouldn't pack on the poundage. And what I thought would be the hardest part of getting my shit together -- but turned out to not be that bad -- was limiting my alcohol to only Fridays and Saturdays. But fuck that policy on my birthday and holidays.

A month and a half after revamping my diet, I joined a gym and forced myself to go there four to five times per week. It took me that long to work up the courage to step all 370+ pounds of myself into a building full of people who could run miles, do different versions of pull-ups and push-ups and bench press what looked like a gajillion pounds. But getting my shit together was all about conquering my fears and pushing myself to new heights. So I made myself spend at least 90 minutes a day in USA Fitness after I got off work, sacrificing my evening frolicking time but probably saving myself some money. After a month of working out and a first week of being more sore than a new hooker just before dawn, working out became easier and shockingly very exciting. Light working out lead to intense working out, which lead to distance running, which lead to a once unthinkable desire to participate in various 5K races.

It's been two years and my body has gradually shrunk by at least 109 pounds. Since the mere thought of stepping on a scale two years ago would have made me shit myself, I don't know what my weight was on that November day two years ago. But I know 370 pounds was the lowest amount that I could have weighed. I was wearing 4X shirts, and my size 54 pants didn't actually fit waist level. After some hard work, sacrificing a lot of things that once brought me joy, periods of self-doubt and self-deprecation, body envy, reading health blogs and tons of advice from people with workout and food knowledge, I made it down to 261 pounds. (Side note: I'm currently hovering between 260 and 270). I'm finally able to find clothes in stores and sections that don't read "plus-size," and it is way more gratifying than I thought it would be. Wearing XL shirts and size 42 pants is AMAAAAAAZING!!!

As mind-blowingly orgasmic as the aesthetic Team #GetRight results are, the other weight loss benefits far outweigh them. I am way more energetic than I once was. Seriously! It's like I smoked a joint full of Five Hour Energy: Life Version. Sitting down for more than an hour makes me restless. I've done three 5K races and found out I love camping (but only for 24 hours or less; I don't shit in the woods). Along with the abundance in energy came an adrenalin shot of confidence. Now, when I say "I'm the shit," I actually believe it. When I go to the beach, I take off the undershirt I would have worn two years ago. Healthy eating and regular physical activity has made my immune system as impenetrable as Alcatraz. My hair and skin is just as healthy as the rest of me. I've been introduced to lemon water, Greek yogurt, hummus with pita bread and a host of other uppity items. I trip over and run into things in the gym because I'm too busy checking out myself in the mirrored walls. And my stamina, flexibility, endurance and sex drive have shot through the roof. Too bad I'm not getting laid right now. MESSAGE!

Though amazing, the #GetRight journey has not been easy. I came into the weight loss plan knowing I couldn't undo overnight what took more more than a quarter of a century to do. But I wasn't prepared for how long this process would take. Or how often I would hit a bump in the road. Plateaus can go fuck themselves, fuck their mothers and then go fuck themselves all over again but in a different orifice. Spending weeks busting my ass, giving up McDoubles and having all kinds of food guilt when I decide to have a cocktail only to see that I haven't lost any pounds makes me want to savagely beat a baby. A baby human! And that's why I'm glad I had people, some of whom had already experienced what I was feeling, who gave me workout/eating advice and or boost my spirits right before my fist hit the babies' cranial soft spots.

It's been two years, and I can say, without ego, that I have accomplished tremendous feats. But my #GetRight plan is not complete. I'm closer 270 pounds in this ten-pound weight range on which I'm currently plateaued, so I still have about 50 more pounds to drop. But for now, I will enjoy the moment. I would also like to express my gratitude to all the people who have encouraged me, given me advice, recommended weight loss blogs, offered exercise tips and have "liked" my countless Facebook and Twitter workout posts instead of unfriending me. I also want to encourage everyone else who is on Team #GetRight. Keep doing what you're doing, and keep bettering yourself, whether you're getting right your health, finances, company you keep or whatever.

This has been an amazing journey that has surprised me countless times. And I don't plan on stopping. LETS DO THIS!!!

-Brandon D.

P.S.: Being able to better see your penis is a huge plus. Too bad others aren't seeing it. MESSAGE!